Welcome to my Shit Lasagna

I mean the title says it all...shit piled on top of more shit. That's been my life for the past 7 months and counting. Let's reel back to October of 2019 - the month we had a miscarriage (more on that to come in a future blog!). From then on out, not a lot of fun shit has happened. The new year brought us some more loss starting with our English Bulldog, Layla. We had to put her down due to kidney failure and boy was that ugly and quick. We miss her every single day and it just feels weird to not have her here. She was my wife's dog and best friend and it's been hard for her. That was honestly much harder than my miscarriage because we made the choice to put her down to end her suffering. Neither of us wanted to make that decision but her kidneys basically were not functioning nor were gaining function even with medication and a special diet. It fucking sucked ass. Then Lace (my wife) and I got the 'Rona we are pretty sure...but who will ever know?! We were miserably sick. February brought some more loss with a family member and then COVID-19 ('Rona) made her way into the states and fucked a lot of us hard. Pretty much dry too. I haven't worked a normal day since March 15th!!! Luckily I'll be working again SOON! February and March can kiss my ass forever - they sucked so bad. All while this is happening I'm trying to get my body back to normal and healthy so I can try and get knocked up again. Yeah, sounds super easy. HA! The universe slapped me in the face with throwing my ovulation 5 days sooner on the goddamn month we planned to try and conceive again. Most days I wake up sad, pissed off, and just confused because shit isn't going as planned and it makes my anxiety sky rocket - bless my wife's heart, she a saint - and I just don't enjoy life when lack of happiness is happening...or not happening? Anyways, I'm in therapy now and after one session I felt better and basically cured. LOL just kidding. My therapist is gonna need therapy after me but hey, they get paid the big bucks for that shit, not me!

WOW, I've kinda been all over the place so if you're still reading this, thank you. Seriously, I'm flattered. Basically this blog is just a bunch of random shit on my mind. And I hope you continue to keep up with me. Judge me if you want, IDGAF.

This is my life; unfiltered, unrefined, and ludicrous.