Donor #661

So far you should know that I recently started therapy because I had a miscarriage back in October. Before I can talk about the miscarriage though, we have to start with what lead to that, WE GOT PREGNANT!

So in 2019 Lacey and I knew we wanted to start a family that year. We wanted to do at-home insemination so we would be more comfortable and increase the chances of our success. Because who wants to be in stirrups and be exposed when it's supposed to be intimate and a special time for a couple?! So immediately, the planner that I am, we started watching YouTube videos from other same-sex couples and I read so many different articles on what you should and shouldn't do and what you can do before trying to conceive to help your chances. It was a lot of information to take in! But we were both on board and super excited to try this ourselves and see where it went.

I read that taking prenatal vitamins at least 3 months before trying to conceive helps your body and is healthy for your sex organs, who knew?! So we landed on August as our month to try, that is Lacey's birth month and we were wanting a Summer baby so August would mean the arrival of a baby in April/May.

When May 1st hit I started prepping. Prenatal multi-vitamins once a day, I upped my water intake, and decreased my caffeine intake. July 4th was my last time having any alcoholic beverages because I didn't want to take any risks and that still gave my body enough time to detox. Also, tracking your ovulation helps so much, I started that in the month of May as well. Around cycle day 10-12 I started testing with ovulation strips and kept track on paper and in my app called Glow (highly recommend for periods and pregnancy!) I kept up with this the whole time. With tracking my ovulation I knew that I had my peak in the LH hormone on cycle day 19. When you have a peak on ovulation tests that means your body will ovulate (release an egg(s)) 12-24 hours after that peak test. My body did this for May, June, and July which made me even more confident that it would be right to try in August!!

While I was getting my body ready, we also had to choose where to buy the sperm from and what kind of donor we wanted. That was a stressful situation! We chose Midwest Sperm Bank out of Illinois because they seemed very professional compared to other sites we researched. They also are very welcoming to the #LGBT community and that made us feel comfortable. Before we could purchase any sperm we had to have several pieces of paper filled out and signed to set up our account. Also needed was a paper from my doctors office stating we understood this isn't a guarantee to get pregnant and that we will be doing it all at home and not with the supervision of a doctor. This is where it became stressful because I didn't even see my OBGYN until June. Which sounds like plenty of time to most people but with a person who struggles with control and anxiety, I was stressed out. Once I got the paper to my doctor in July, she was out of town for a week. I called about 3 times checking up on it but it still wasn't back in my file to pick up - ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Finally August 2nd rolls around and I speak with a nurse who gets the ball rolling and I was able to get the paper THAT DAY from her. We were so thankful!

We rushed to the doctors office to grab the paper and then headed back home to gather all the documents to be ready for the mail the next day! A few days later I received the call from Midwest that my account had been set up and we could place an order whenever we were ready. #wehavebeenready

Our next step was to find a donor!

Lacey and I knew we wanted a Caucasian donor and I preferred them to have blue eyes and brown hair like she had. Other than that we didn't necessarily care about other details. You can go onto Midwest's website and see basic details about all the donors they have. Once we chose between 2 donors we then purchased long profiles for each, which costs $5/each donor. When you get a long profile you see basic information like hair and eye color, shape of their nose, height, weight, diet, etc. But you also get personality information and information about their parents and grandparents. Donor #661 stuck out to me because he and all of his immediate family have curly hair and a child having curly hair has always been a dream to me. #curlygirl It may sound silly but when you get to choose a sperm donor, its a privilege to make those kind of decisions. Donor #661 was it!!

Purchasing sperm can be kind of pricey but nothing compared to those who have to do IVF, I was thankful for that. Each vial cost $450 and then you pay shipping depending on how far away you live from the facility. For us, 2 vials and shipping was $1,100. It's really not that bad but would be money down the drain if it didn't work...so that was scary.

August 21st I placed the call and ordered. Friday, August 23rd our delivery was made and Donor #661 would soon change our lives forever. The next step...doing the deed! #gettingpreggers

Until then, my life; unfiltered, unrefined, and ludicrous.